I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
