I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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