I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
