conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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