we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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