just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
