i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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