paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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