True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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