stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
