omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
