no, he came in my armpit
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
