yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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