i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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