I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
