Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we're so committed to being not committed
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
