butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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