Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
