Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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