Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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