If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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