woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Semen is not good for contacts.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
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No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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