It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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