4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's never too late to be topless.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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