I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
