Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
