stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
