Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
