We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
