non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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