suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
