Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
