you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
