I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
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I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
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After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
did i just pee glitter
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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