Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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