I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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