It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
