My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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