I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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