he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
