the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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