i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
God, I missed his penis.
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