there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She swung at the pinata with crutches
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
