he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
