My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
