The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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