Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
