i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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