imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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