the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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