There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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