Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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