I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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