After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
