I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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