just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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