I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
