Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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