Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
