i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
