is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
