come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
