Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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