And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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