Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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